Five years ago today....

...was the day.


Most days I choose not to let it out.

Most days I choose to keep my secrets to myself, after all, I know in Whom is my hope.

Most days I just keep him close in my heart, knowing that one day, I will see him again.

Most days I know that we all have things to bear.  Deep things.


But not this day.


Today it is refusing to stay quiet, so please bear with me - tomorrow will be crochet and craft.  Life goes on.


This is the day he was born.





This was the day I took him to the zoo for a treat.  Just him and me.



This was one of the rare occasions we were at a 'social' event together.





Nathan, I miss you and think of you, today, and everyday.



love
Mum

Comments

  1. This brought tears to my eyes. I can't even imagine your pain and heart-ache. You're in my thoughts. ::hugs from Arizona::

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  2. My thoughts are with you Fi - I know what you're going through.

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  3. I'm so terribly, terribly sorry for your loss. As a mother I cannot imagine or even begin to comprehend the pain and suffering you have endured. I am just so terribly sorry. Sending you much love to you and your family.

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  4. One never forgets her beautiful babies..l lost my son in 1968 & l think of him every day.. His birthday is the hardest day.. ..NEVER ever forget him.. Take care.. Luv, Hahnsmum..New England, NSW, OZ..

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  5. Oh Fi I wasnt expecting that..I'm glad that you've shared it with us, today is the day to let it out. ((hugs))
    you can call me suzanne today xx

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  6. This must be such a hard day for you. So, so sorry for your loss, it must be a heavy burden to carry with you each day, I can only imagine how hard it is to deal with, I hope sharing it here has brought a little comfort to you, knowing we are all sending you hugs and love . xx

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  7. Oh shoot. No, you take the day, to remember and grieve. So sorry. I'll hug my boys even tighter tonight.

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  8. My heart goes out to you! I too lost a son much too early in his 20s. God bless you!

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  9. Oh Fi, my heart goes out to you for this loss. Until one goes through the exact same thing they can truly not understand your suffering. To loose a child is to loose one of the best parts of yourself. It is a loss felt daily till the last breath. Some days are more painful than others. Only a mother would know those days all too well.
    (((HUGS))) Susanne ♥

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  10. Sweet Fi~ I am heartsick for you in your loss. Nothing is more precious to us than our children. I know you have the comfort of knowing you will see him again but that doesn't stop the longing for him now. Be blessed on this day especially.
    Much love,
    Danette

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  11. I am sorry. Keep the memories for ever in your heart and soul. hugs dee xx

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  12. My heart aches for you. So glad you felt you could share this with us. We may never meet each other but we're all here for you. Sending light and love, xxx

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  13. I am new to your blog (followed you here from your flower post), but it is clear to me the love and pride you had for your son. So sorry you had to lose him. I went to the funeral of a friend who lost her battle with breast cancer yesterday, so i empathize with you. I know it must be so much more poignant for it to have been your son.

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  14. Hey Fi, it must be so hard to hold it in..........I can't even begin to imagine how it feels.

    My heart goes out to you, I'm so sorry for the loss of your lovely son Nathan.
    Beautiful photo of the two of you......

    Claire XX.

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  15. Hi Fi,

    Well I left you a comment the other day but my computer went down right when I hit send and I had a feeling it didn't go through. I had seen your blog post first thing that morning and thought about you all day long. You see, I always thought the worst thing in the world was to NOT be able to have children. Then I met my husband, who had two boys and a mean ex-wife. She turned them against him. He has no idea how or where they are. So I thought the worst thing in the world was to have children but not be able to see them. But then, my Aunt lost her second child out of four. And I knew, to have loved a child and lost, rather than never having had one at all, has to be the worst thing in the world. Sending love your way.

    Cindy Bee

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